After you make a big mistake in your career and how to move on

I know this topic is not as easy as it sounds, it's never that easy.
First, you have a job that suits you, the bosses likes you very much, your HR head also seems to be in your favour and can be a close buddy to you, your director doesnt mind lending his laps for your 2 year old kid to sit on during a family dinner. Everything seems great and promising, and then suddenly out of the blue, you get another job offer and it's much closer to home, giving bigger salary than what you have. You get confused, big time!.

Let me share with you a few important tips before you start banging your head and make the most stupid decision in your career life :

1. Get some inside information about the new job they offer you. If you have an inside contact, you should make a simple phone call, asking the "future-to-be-colleague" about how the job is like, what the boss is like and how he feels about working there. You know whether this is suitable enough for you, than just blindly join the company without having a second opinion. If you do not have any contact in that section/department you are offered to, then get another contact from other department who you know have been there long enough, and he/she will be able to gauge about the department you are joining. This person's opinion is very crucial to your future work happiness.

2. During the interview, you definitely being interviewed by the person who head your department/section, therefore be observant. If the "future-boss" seems to be very demanding, having ridiculously high expectation and so "gang-ho" about his/her positions in the company, then by all means, stay in your current job. This new boss likes to be on the edge and very competitive, and you might not suit the colour scheme or background of what he/she wants from you in the long run.

3. During the interview, observe the body language too. If the person seems edgy and not in control, eg babbling about some other colleagues and undermine your experience by stating that what they have is far more better than what you are right now, do not accept the job offer. Chances are : you will be out of the job even before you get confirmation, or if not, the boss will do all means and might to kick you out soon enough and get a new replacement.

I have accepted the same type of job offer, thinking that they offer better money, no allowance, but the best of all, its closer to home. I thought i gave it a shot, took the challenge, left my current job and I thinking, that's it! I will retire in this company. After a month joining, I got to know many staff have resigned before me (non-executives, executives, managers) left after 2-3 month, some left after 6 months, and the most alarming fact was that almost all the staff under the new boss are only 2 years old max in the department. My gut feeling says, something is very wrong here. The reasons for people leaving : they cannot work under the boss.

That seems crazy, and after few months, she has been scheming for my exits, planting every evidences and causes for me to leave, there it is, I got the answer. There's nothing wrong with me, it's the company having and nurtuting this kind of pyschotic hostile bosses are intolerable.

God have given me the signs, earlier on, during the interviews, but I refused to look closer.
Anyway, I learned from this and move on now, enjoying my life in Paris with my kids and family.

Just something to share to others.... be careful out there!

VICTIMIZATION & RACIAL DISCRIMINATION

This is also another apparent yet most common reason people leave their jobs. Racial discrimination seems very subtle, yet the most offensive thing to know when the discrimination is against you, yourself.

They can start by saying, "oh we dont spoon feed staff", dismissing the fact that its the boss's job to lead and guide us as a staff, as a team player. Yet, by saying this, they can simply just enjoy the ride without guiding or providing any support for the downline/staff. A lot of hostile bosses gets away with this, just using the above sentence.

We, as the team member becoming scared to even ask, coz when we start opening our mouth, we will be labeled "needy" and need spoon-feeding, and she already said it up-front she doesnt like it. There you are, stuck, with no one to consult and no help is coming. 

Chances are, with bosses like this, your team mates will not support you either, coz they wouldnt want to be spotted "spoon-feeding their fellow colleagues" as well by the terrible boss.

When you encounter this type of boss, start updating your resume, its time to move on.

Observe how many malays, how many chinese, and how many Indians. 

If malays do have high post (ie managers or above), then there's something to look for if you are a malay. But if the numbers are filled up by clerical staff, non-executives, then look no further, this company is not for you. Get out and move on.

In my experience, malays only filled up clerical, non-executive levels and only 2 (together with me) are managers. One manager are quite okay, very sharp and subject matter expert.

The other manager, female is totally psychotic, too much worshiping the boss till we as muslim thinks that this mad bitch thinks her boss is the GOD. I'd like to think is this lady as Indian, because she is not really a malay. She looks Indian, and she has that KP (Kelahiran Peranakan) in her name, which clearly states she is not malay. She gets away with many things,  therefore, I omit her from the counting. 

Funny, but it's true, and its exactly what happened and I have witnessed this in my own 2 eyes. To me, Allah the Almighty is only one true GOD and no other worth worshiping, not even your own boss. Your boss dont own you, they dont give you your mind, body, liver, heart, health, she is just the same, like us, nothing more, nothing less.

Despite of the motto -"no spoon-feeding", there were times we can see chinese are coached, in closed doors, chinese are not shouted at, like malays do in meeting.

This type of harrasment, I would call it, is not apparent on the outside. Human resource department can simply dismiss this issue, coz they can never feel or hear or see what actually happen in the department on daily basis, because Human Resource is just Not There, not IN there like we do.

Best Friends are for life

I had encountered and accompanied by many, through changing jobs, changing places etc. But only few remained in my heart and well kept in touch. That is my closest buddy here. She has been amazing. We saw each other through many things, losing jobs, losing parents, losing places to stay, losing boyfriends etc. Now I am with kids, we remain closer than ever. Love you eliya!

HUBBY is off to France

Me & Hubby

31 December 2012

Hubby flew for France. 
I was lost and grieved for a while.
The whole day I was in no mood for any outing. Surely after this life would be different for 3 of us left behind.